


the good thing about plastic flowers

by stefonzolesky



Category: Arrested Development
Genre: M/M, gob is allergic to flowers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-28
Updated: 2017-10-28
Packaged: 2019-01-25 09:35:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12528352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stefonzolesky/pseuds/stefonzolesky
Summary: Michael rolls his eyes. “Alright. Sure. But sneezing isn’t romantic.” He opens the fridge. “You should know that.”





	the good thing about plastic flowers

**(excerpt from** **_picking flowers_ ** **by nate marshall and title from** **_plastic flowers_ ** **by the front bottoms)**

_ picking dandelions will ruin your hands, _

_ turn their smell into a bitter cologne. _

_ a man carries flowers for 3 reasons: _

  * _he is in love_
  * _he is in mourning_
  * _he is a flower salesman_



Sometimes, it’s little things that remind Gob of Tony. Like when he looks up at the stars at night and they look like Tony’s eyes, Tony’s smile. When he walks past a shop and smells the cookies inside. Tony always smells like freshly baked cookies. 

Tony might be the only constant good in Gob’s life. And somehow, he’s okay with that.

Gob is allergic to flowers. Real ones. He’s always used fake ones in his act, so he didn’t know he was allergic until he showed up at Tracey’s funeral and had to leave because his sneezes kept interrupting Michael’s speech. It was… a bit macabre, in all honesty. He would have known had he gone into the store to buy the flowers, but he sent Buster to pay and pack them in the trunk. By the time he left the funeral he looked nearly identical to Rudolph.

(Or at least that’s what Lindsay had told him. He doesn’t think he looked  _ anything _ like Rudolph Hitler, no matter what Lindsay insists.)

Valentine’s Day this year is a big deal for the first time ever. Artificially dyed purple roses stain Gob’s fingertips a little, and his nose is already growing red and raw by the time he gets back to the model home. Michael drops his bag on the counter and watches Gob blow his nose, only adding to the ever-growing pile of tissues at his feet.

“Is it really worth it?” He asks Gob, lifting an eyebrow. “You  _ are _ allergic to flowers, and looking like Rudolph isn’t cool until Christmas.”

“What is everyone’s obsession with me and Rudolph Hitler!” Gob laughs out. “I look nothing like that guy.”

Michael looks like he wants to say something, but he thinks better of it and just shakes his head. “What I’m saying is, are you really gonna sacrifice your nose for this?”

“For  _ Tony Wonder?” _ Gob looks at Michael like he’s crazy. “Yeah, guy, of course I am.” He sniffs and rubs at his nose.

Michael rolls his eyes. “Alright. Sure. But sneezing isn’t romantic.” He opens the fridge. “You should know that.”

Gob just rolls his eyes and actively fights back another sneeze. “It doesn’t matter. I need all these flowers.”

Michael takes a seat, staring at Gob over the glass of water he ended up pouring. “If you only had one flower, I might understand. But…” He trails off, his eyes scanning the bouquets of flowers. “Fifty-something? That’s way too many, especially since you’re allergic to them.”

“That’s not  _ enough _ , Mi--” Gob’s protest is cut off by a sneeze. “Michael. Not enough.”

Michael raises his eyebrows at Gob incredulously but doesn’t say anything else on the subject. Instead, he watches Gob tie up a few flowers and then sneeze directly into them.

Gob scowls and grabs another tissue. Michael looks at him like he should know better. “I think I’ll be fine, fratello.” He scoffs, but he thinks he might explode if he has to sneeze one more time. “It’s all worth it.”

“You really like this guy, huh?” Michael pushes away a bouquet of flowers so he can lean against the counter a little.

_ “Like?” _ Gob scoffs. “I think it’s a lot more than  _ like.” _ He scratches his nose. “I’m sacrificing my nose for him, Mike. I  _ love _ this guy.”

Michael bites back a laugh and holds his hands in a surrender. “Okay, okay. I get it. I’ll lay off you.”

Gob tries to nod, but all he ends up doing is nearly banging his head on the counter through another sneeze. His hand shoots to his forehead and he yelps in pain, even though his head didn’t actually hit anything. Michael sips quietly at his glass of water, waiting for Gob to admit that he’s right. Like he always does.

Gob doesn’t want to admit Michael is right, because he always ends up doing it and  _ for fuck’s sake, Michael isn’t always right! _

“I’m not incompetent, Michael.” Gob sniffs. “I think I can handle  _ Valentine’s Day.” _

Michael rolls his eyes, turning to put his cup in the sink. “Do you at least want me to get the allergy medicine out of the cabinet? I think there’s some left.”

Gob squints at his brother. “Are you trying to drug me? Because I’m not falling for that, I’m not  _ stupid _ like you.”

“What?” Michael’s eyebrows furrow. “No, I’m trying to help you stop sneezing. Contrary to popular belief, some drugs can be helpful.”

“I know drugs can be helpful,  _ Michael.” _ Gob scoffs. “Again, I’m not  _ stupid. _ I use drugs all the time, and they’re really helpful.”

Michael brings a hand to his forehead. “I meant allergy medicine, Gob, and you knew that.” He watches Gob, who gives him a know-it-all shrug. “Do you want the medicine or not?”

Gob nods weakly, his nose twitching as he fights back a sneeze. “Yeah, stupid.”

Michael  _ almost _ objects to Gob continuously calling him stupid, but Gob is sure that he’s considered his own situation. Because he really is stupid. He turns on his heel to dig the medicine out of the cabinet. “You know, you definitely could have gotten the medicine out on your own.”

“I’m a little busy, Mike.” Gob rolls his eyes into the middle of a flower, and then sneezes. He rubs his nose awkwardly. “I don’t have time for that.”

Michael gives a heavy sigh. “Just take the damn medicine.”

Gob makes a face at Michael when he turns his back, right before he takes the medicine. His nose is still bright red and raw.

Tony makes fun of him that night for it, through his awe over the flowers dropping and the purple dye that somehow ends up on his inner thighs. Gob could never have asked for a better Valentine’s Day.


End file.
